14 Years

Fourteen years ago my dad died. He died on the 7th of March 2000 and the funeral was on the 14th of March. It’s so odd but this is the first year it hasn’t hurt. It’s the first year I’ve really noticed the pain not being so crippling and hurting so bad.

Dad before I was born…

Over the last 12 months I’ve spent a lot of time learning and talking about him and I truly think that is what has helped the pain go away. I honestly thought the pain would be unbearable forever, that the ache would always be there and I suppose it will be, but it will not always hurt as bad as it did. My heart was shattered, battered and bruised, it was beyond repair and I let it stay that way until a couple of years ago when I started to piece it back together. At the moment it’s still a little purple from the bruises but now you can see the healthy red layer beneath the purple one. It’s so freeing to finally feel like a fourteen year long grieving period is coming to an end.

I feel motivated and ready to start the next chapter of my life. My mind is flooded with goals and visions of who I will be and it really is time to take steps to make it a reality. I’m so fortunate and have a lot of things going for me and I’m ready to take advantage of them and use whatever I’ve got to get to the places I want to go. I’ve officially decided to see through my job until the end of the year and then I’m moving to Sydney; finally committing to leaving. Sydney is the current goal. The long term goal is love and kids which hopefully will come long with Sydney.